DATING 101

Yes there should be a class for those of us that have been out of the game for a while, better yet a rules and regulations handbook that covers the most up to date upgrades and available hardware and software for this decade of dating. 

Why you may ask am I so obsessed with this dating thing?  Well since as long as I can remember I've been guy crazy, there ya go, I admitted it.  While I may appear to be in the minority here, why not?  The saga between men and women, love, sex and relationships make the world go round.  All the way back to Adam and Eve, and finding out man would dominate women and we would still crave their attention, well turns out I fall perfectly into that category.  So you have it, it's taken me the better part of 30 years (okay like 29 of them) to figure out that I don't really WANT the man, I just want TO BE that man... Now get your mind out of the gutter, not like that.  I want to be the successful, smart, sexy, bad ass, hot rod, big truck driving, self sufficient, large and in charge, powerful person that doesn't NEED anyone.  Now can you see where this poses a problem with dating?  What man do you know that isn't a bit intimidated by that, even if they wouldn't admit that they are?  So where does this leave me?  In a puddle of dating messy drama!  Add in 2 ex husbands and a baby and you get a bundle of "baggage" that any man I've ever met would high tail and run from.  Yet true to my positive self, I'm convinced there's a man out there that is up to the challenge, a man that won't be challenged by the fact that I want to be a career woman that likes to drive a fast car, have several children, be highly involved in a church, stay at home and cook and make home made delicacies and own all the latest technologies?   Remember I'm convinced that I can have it all :)

In the process of finding the perfect man, There shall be quite a number of highly pathetic guys that fall short and are truly frightened by my abrupt honesty, and wild diversity and oh yea the fact that I could talk the hind leg off of a mule!  Or at least so I've been told...It sure does make for some amazing first date stories so I figured why not share a few!  What better way to combat the disappointment, loneliness, and shear rejection that come from these, than with a really good laugh or two, and if my experiences make anyone else laugh, even the better!

Before I share just how exciting my first few, first dates after being out of the game for so long were, lets cover the basis I started with.  The Rules!

1. Am I the only person that has just started dating again that totally missed the memo that texting is now a perfectly acceptable way to "date"?  REALLY!  Who knew it was totally normal to ask a person out, plan date details, ask personal details about your life, etc. all over a text message without ever actually speaking on the phone!  

2. These "rules" I speak of, apparently no longer exist.  No need for the guy to ask the girl out, for him to initiate the conversation or to actually attempt to get to know her, well of course that would just be way to much effort when you can just text something of the "hey what's up" sort, and this totally be considered dating contact! 

...No wait it get's better.  

3.Should you decide to join one of the most interesting online dating sites, some of which shall not be named, you can just skip conversation altogether and "wink" at someone!  I'm sorry I had not realized that grown adults were now going back to the ranks of sexually awkward teenagers and used a virtual "wink" as an appropriate way to show interest in another.  Or is that just a way for men not to get their feelings hurt, should they ever so insanely be required to actually step it up and show interest in a formal way by I don't know, sending an email or asking for a phone number!  Silly me, I had no idea we've moved way beyond traditional rejection.  Gosh I'm showing my age here...OH and there you go... 

4.  The last but not at all least rule I've learned recently, that should you find yourself a career focused woman, single mom or any other status that's over the age of 30 you might as well give up on finding a guy who isn't the age of say Hugh Hefner, because apparently according to "The Man Code" they are all looking to date younger women who are still completely fresh, and alas without wrinkles...Guess I might as well give up now, as I so can't compete with that!  Oh but I am still convinced I'm diverse enough to find a man that's up for the challenge to deal with a few stretch marks and a few wrinkles...Guess only time will tell if that shall transpire...Let's first reminisce of the first few oh so not even close to perfect first dates.