A Day in the Life...

I've decided that being a single mom, hell being any type of mom is truly an art form.  You really have no idea what it's going to look like when you start it, and every day it takes a new shape, some days it adds to the beauty, some days it's like a melting wax form that you are desperately trying to put the fire out from underneath so it doesn't lose shape!  Either way we all make it work, some of us just manage to come up with more creative ways of getting things to work out then even we like sometimes.
Say for instance a day in my life, it poses itself similar to anyone else's, I get up, get myself ready for work, get my munchkin ready, pack up, drop him at daycare and go try and make peoples lives and smiles better one tooth at a time... It's as the day goes on that my life tends to take on a new shape.  Sometime around mid morning I take my morning break to go "pump" since I am of course still a nursing mother in my other life.  Well whatever else would a single working mother do with this 15 minutes that really can't be posed as anything but time to sit and well, um "express" something?  Well what a perfect time to use my iPhone as a communication device and log into various said online dating apps...Now there ya go, first of quite a few variations to a "normal" mom, (oh yea still working on what this "normal" thing is).  How many can say they sit and pump for breast milk while responding to online dating inquiries?  Yup pick me pick me! And my day continues back to the norm for a few more hours...
Unless of course said day is say a Friday and I might possibly have a date planned for that evening.  Well then it couldn't possibly get more interesting could it?  Of course it could!  I mean who gets to show up to a first date wondering if they have baby food splattered on their dress or in their hair, if they remembered to put in breast pads after they nursed last, and for good heavens how to NOT bring this up in the first 5 minutes of conversation!  Oh yes I must act charismatic for at least 2 hours now, lets switch the hats from mommy hat to sexy single hat for a bit!
How does said date end?  Well we for sure hope there isn't a desperate call from a sitter and I have to bolt early, although with most first dates I've had lately I have been praying for just such a call, even if it is just that the baby seems a wee bit fussy because he's constipated, well look out momma's on her way!  No need to prolong the misery of first date hell...
Check back tomorrow, as it's a new day, and with the way things go around here you just never know what a new day with a blank page in the life of an online dating single mommy might hold...

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DATING 101

Yes there should be a class for those of us that have been out of the game for a while, better yet a rules and regulations handbook that covers the most up to date upgrades and available hardware and software for this decade of dating. 

Why you may ask am I so obsessed with this dating thing?  Well since as long as I can remember I've been guy crazy, there ya go, I admitted it.  While I may appear to be in the minority here, why not?  The saga between men and women, love, sex and relationships make the world go round.  All the way back to Adam and Eve, and finding out man would dominate women and we would still crave their attention, well turns out I fall perfectly into that category.  So you have it, it's taken me the better part of 30 years (okay like 29 of them) to figure out that I don't really WANT the man, I just want TO BE that man... Now get your mind out of the gutter, not like that.  I want to be the successful, smart, sexy, bad ass, hot rod, big truck driving, self sufficient, large and in charge, powerful person that doesn't NEED anyone.  Now can you see where this poses a problem with dating?  What man do you know that isn't a bit intimidated by that, even if they wouldn't admit that they are?  So where does this leave me?  In a puddle of dating messy drama!  Add in 2 ex husbands and a baby and you get a bundle of "baggage" that any man I've ever met would high tail and run from.  Yet true to my positive self, I'm convinced there's a man out there that is up to the challenge, a man that won't be challenged by the fact that I want to be a career woman that likes to drive a fast car, have several children, be highly involved in a church, stay at home and cook and make home made delicacies and own all the latest technologies?   Remember I'm convinced that I can have it all :)

In the process of finding the perfect man, There shall be quite a number of highly pathetic guys that fall short and are truly frightened by my abrupt honesty, and wild diversity and oh yea the fact that I could talk the hind leg off of a mule!  Or at least so I've been told...It sure does make for some amazing first date stories so I figured why not share a few!  What better way to combat the disappointment, loneliness, and shear rejection that come from these, than with a really good laugh or two, and if my experiences make anyone else laugh, even the better!

Before I share just how exciting my first few, first dates after being out of the game for so long were, lets cover the basis I started with.  The Rules!

1. Am I the only person that has just started dating again that totally missed the memo that texting is now a perfectly acceptable way to "date"?  REALLY!  Who knew it was totally normal to ask a person out, plan date details, ask personal details about your life, etc. all over a text message without ever actually speaking on the phone!  

2. These "rules" I speak of, apparently no longer exist.  No need for the guy to ask the girl out, for him to initiate the conversation or to actually attempt to get to know her, well of course that would just be way to much effort when you can just text something of the "hey what's up" sort, and this totally be considered dating contact! 

...No wait it get's better.  

3.Should you decide to join one of the most interesting online dating sites, some of which shall not be named, you can just skip conversation altogether and "wink" at someone!  I'm sorry I had not realized that grown adults were now going back to the ranks of sexually awkward teenagers and used a virtual "wink" as an appropriate way to show interest in another.  Or is that just a way for men not to get their feelings hurt, should they ever so insanely be required to actually step it up and show interest in a formal way by I don't know, sending an email or asking for a phone number!  Silly me, I had no idea we've moved way beyond traditional rejection.  Gosh I'm showing my age here...OH and there you go... 

4.  The last but not at all least rule I've learned recently, that should you find yourself a career focused woman, single mom or any other status that's over the age of 30 you might as well give up on finding a guy who isn't the age of say Hugh Hefner, because apparently according to "The Man Code" they are all looking to date younger women who are still completely fresh, and alas without wrinkles...Guess I might as well give up now, as I so can't compete with that!  Oh but I am still convinced I'm diverse enough to find a man that's up for the challenge to deal with a few stretch marks and a few wrinkles...Guess only time will tell if that shall transpire...Let's first reminisce of the first few oh so not even close to perfect first dates.

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Diverse you say...

So I'm a baby wearing, baby food making, full time working, Christian church going, Martha Stewart meets Diva Rockstar, dating single mom... Well now that's a mouth full.

Did I mention I'm a single mom and I want it all? Who came up with this concept of wanting it all? Well that I'm still working on, but besides the point. I would more like to know who came up with the idea that we can't as women be all of it. Who's idea was it that hippy/eclectic stay at home moms were the enemy of lavish, style diva, wall-street working moms? Umm yea, not cool! We all make the world go round!

Sooo I've decided to bridge the gap, and oh yea did I mention I'm a single mom to an infant? AND I've decided that I could have it all, and by golly we are going to have a joyous ride doing it together.

Where to start, well in true ADD fashion, watch me for the changes and try to keep up. I get the fiendish delight in stirring up controversy so a little history.

I've been married twice, yeah you heard me twice and I'm only 30! Did the big D leave me a wallowing single mom? Nope, that came from a crazy night where I decided to have a pathetic lapse of judgement and walked out the door in knee high boots a low cut top and forgot my morals at home. Hmmm, guess what? 3 weeks later I decided that what to do with my predicament wasn't really an option. So I spent the last year becoming a mom, and finding myself (well go into that more later, don't worry I never leave out good details).

So at 29 I found myself pregnant, very alone, working 1 full time job, 1 part time job and in school part time, and on the brink of actually figuring out who the hell I wanted to be when I grew up. I had taken a year off of men, after a not so lovely divorce, and a nasty breakup with my rebound guy, so single was an understatement. The kicker? I had actually spent a number of years trying to have a baby while I was married and had been told as of a few months before that I might never be able to have a baby naturally. HA! One of God's awesome "I know better than you" jokes on me.

There ya go, here I am, I'll get to more history later. The point? Well I've been told that my daily life is rather entertaining. Who else spends their day, breastfeeding, leading 18 people to greatness during 9-5 working hours, coming home and making homemade baby food while texting the latest man du jour that was found on a random online dating site, all while doing A LOT of praying and having a bunch of come to Jesus moments daily? Well I do, and while I'm sure no one else's life looks exactly like mine, we all strive for it all, daily. So why does there have to be a trade off? There doesn't. Well at least not in my life...

I have no greater desire than to share my experiences in hopes that is promotes freedom to LIVE and do life in whatever way best suits you so you never feel the need to be constricted by the rules and regulations that our society has bound us to.

So hang on, here we go, you are about to have a glimpse into the life of a very ADD, hairy armpit meets power diva single mom who's a geek at heart. Will I ruffle a few feathers along the way? Hell Yea. What good would I do if I didn't? However my real goal is to just bring a few laughs to the women/moms/housewives/college kids that feel constricted to the current status they hold in life. This one's for the "I won't be confined to the rules" girls...

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